


Balancing Act

by roadkill_punk (orphan_account)



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Sharing a Body, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-16
Updated: 2018-05-16
Packaged: 2019-05-07 15:40:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,161
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14674190
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/roadkill_punk





	Balancing Act

Sometimes it goes like this: Frisk and Chara are standing on top of a building, and Chara is trying to throw the body off, and Frisk is stubbornly refusing.

They’ve been here for half an hour, and Chara’s temper tantrum is starting to crack. They scream with frustration and claw at themselves, and they keep stepping forward, and Frisk keeps stepping back.

“Let me die, you fucking freak! Just _LET ME DIE!_ ”

Frisk says nothing.

“We’d be doing the world a favor, you know! We’re sick! We’re rotten! I _killed_ people, Frisk! _We_ killed people! So LET ME FUCKING END IT ALREADY!”

Frisk still says nothing. They’re far more talkative in their head than they ever are in the outside world, but there are still times when it seems most appropriate to stick to the silent approach. This is one of those times.

“I can’t stop seeing the look on Sans’ face when I finally killed him.” Chara sobs, struggling against Frisk’s brick wall of willpower. “When we killed him. You were there too, you fucking bitch. Don’t pretend you had no part in this.” Translation: don’t make me do this alone. “We could be happy! All the pain would go away! It would be so _quick_! Don’t pretend you don’t want it too. You’re just as fucked up as I am.” Chara furiously wipes away tears, not pushing as hard for control now. Frisk takes a few quiet steps back, away from the edge. “You’re just as fucked up as I am, you’re just better at hiding it. I don’t know why you bother. Why do you lie to everyone, Frisk? Why do you make it seem like _I’m_ the crazy one?”

Frisk relaxes ever so slightly. The danger has passed, now. There will be more tears, and more blood, and more yelling, but the worst is in the past. The worst is in the past.

“We both know what you do to yourself at night. At least I’m not ashamed of it. You make everyone think you’re so good, Frisk, but you’re no better than me. You’re no better than anyone. Except at lying. _Liar._ ” Chara’s sniffling now, and they wipe their nose on their sleeve.

Sometimes Frisk goes away when Chara does this, retreats to some small room in their head, somewhere not even Chara can find them, and they curl up with their hands over their ears and rock and hum until they can pretend that there’s nothing in the world but that small, secret room. But that means Chara has free reign over the body, and without Frisk there to take away the knife or turn off the burner or cover their mouth, people get hurt. Usually themself, but not always. Either way, undesirable. Besides, Chara deserves to be listened to. Frisk owes them that much.

“You think you’re so good. You’re just like me. We’re in this together.” Chara has passed into the pitiful, gasping, quiet stage of crying now. “We’re in this together. I’ll always have you. I’m never going to let anyone take you away. You’re never going to leave me.”

Frisk gently takes the body away from Chara, stroking their arms to comfort them. _Come on. Let’s go home. I’ll make you some pie._

Chara hiccups and nods. “I don’t want to kill you. I love you. I just want it to stop.”

_I know. I love you too._

 

Sometimes it goes like this: it’s the early hours of the morning, and the sky is just beginning to fade into rosy pink, and Frisk is sitting on the edge of a building, their short legs dangling over the abyss. They’ve had control over the body for a while now, and they’ve enjoyed squashing Chara so far down they can’t even see their surroundings, but on a whim they let them surface.

Chara blinks and looks around. “God _damn_ it.” They suspected as much when Frisk wouldn’t let them copilot the body this morning, but there’s still a flush of dread at knowing for certain that they’re doing this again. Chara never knows what to say in this situation. Frisk is so good at this, and they’re just a loser who can’t do anything right. A loser who’s far more suited to killing people than saving them.

Frisk looks pensively at the horizon, and sits eerily still. It’s so hard to tell what they’re thinking, sometimes. They’re the most pokerfaced person Chara’s ever met. Half the time it seems like they’re not even on the same planet.

“What’s going on? You going to jump?” Chara asks cautiously. As soon as the words are out of their mouth, they want to punch themselves in the face. No shit, they’re going to jump. Fuck-up.

Frisk doesn’t say anything for a long moment, and Chara doesn’t really expect them to. Frisk isn’t much of a conversationalist at the best of times, and they become even more of a shut-in at times like these. Chara is fully prepared to keep up a one-sided conversation for as long as it takes, but then Frisk mumbles something. They even say it aloud. So quiet Chara almost misses it, but aloud. “I’m tired.”

“So that’s it, then? You’re just going to give up? You’re better than that, midget. You weren’t designed to be a young corpse. Me, I’ve been tying nooses since I was in my diapers, but you’re supposed to make it. That’s how this thing works. You’re supposed to make it. You’re supposed to be okay.”

Frisk says something else, even quieter. It takes a moment for Chara to translate the near-imperceptible sound into words, but they get it. “I _can’t_.”

Chara backpedals. “Okay, you don’t have to! You don’t have to be okay. Just don’t die. Okay? Okay, Frisk? I will freaking kill you if you die.” It’s a weak attempt at a joke, but Frisk gives her an indulgent smile. “Don’t die. Let’s, uh… Fuck, what do you say to me? Let’s go home. I can try to make tea for you? You like tea. I’ll fuck it up, but it’s the thought that counts. And I can run you a bath, and I promise I’ll go away and give you some privacy. I’ll even fucking read to you. Just don’t die, Frisk. Please? I’ll do anything you want. Don’t die.”

Frisk stands up, and for a moment Chara panics. They know full well that they can’t stop Frisk if they do decide to jump. They just don’t have the same force of will, they’re not strong enough to seize the body when Frisk shuts them out. They can’t save anyone. But then Frisk sighs, and turns around, and walks away from the edge. Chara can’t help but collapse into a relieved, exhausted grin.

“You’re just unlucky, kid.” They say. Frisk doesn’t say anything but Chara knows they’re listening. “You were just in the wrong place at the wrong time. None of this is your fault.”


End file.
